The first process of socialization for a child occurs at the family level. At this stage, children who are very malleable receive lessons aimed at teaching them the cultural norms and expectations of their respective societies. Although diverse in their nature, these lessons or customs dwell on issues like what is right and what is wrong, or what is culturally/traditionally acceptable and vice versa. These children are introduced to concepts and perspectives, which end up grooming them by the socially constructed ideas and realities by members of the community. In most African cultures it is considered wrong to question some of the practices. Unfortunately, some of these unquestionable practices are those that promote vices that lead to gender inequality or the unfair treatment of a girl child as compared to a boy child. The defense usually is that it is our “culture”, thus ignoring that those existing rules and regulations have been socially constructed without considering their repercussions, mainly the expected good or negative outcomes of such behavior. Sadly, community members have always rendered a blind eye to such matters. It is unquestionable that culture is dynamic, but its dynamism becomes irrelevant if it does not embrace constructive changes from time to time. Instead of paving way for new healthy behavior patterns, many would rather hold on to some old cultural practices, which promote inequality amongst boys and girls. With the socially constructed ideas of socialization for girls and boys, there becomes a dierent behavior expectation for each individual based on their gender. How a girl child is taught then becomes dierent to how a boy child is taught. In the process of the socialization of a girl child, it can be noted that she is deliberately made to nurture the perspective that the boy child is the man of the house despite his age. This approach ends up making the girl child foster the notion that she is expected to do all the household chores and that the boy child is allowed to do as he pleases. The girl child is at an early age taught that she is the mother to her siblings and is at times overwhelmed with conflicting responsibilities of being a child and at the same time have to play the role of a mother. In some instances, when the mother is irresponsible or not available, the girl child is burdened with motherly roles thereby, having her childhood taken away, as she is busy growing into a mother before her time. Her voice therefore, becomes silenced as she skips certain stages of growth and hence not allowed to develop into a healthy adolescent. As a consequence, she grows up into a broken adult, having experienced a dicult upbringing with missed opportunities. Most girls who become mothers at an early age tend to grow up with low self-esteem and are more vulnerable compared to their age mates, who grow up in households, which are not child headed households. In the area of sexual reproductive health and rights, most African parents find it dicult to talk to their children on issues regarding sex, sexually transmitted infections such as HIV/AIDS, as well as how their bodies should be handled to attain a good reproductive health. For instance, it is may culturally be acceptable for a boy child to engage into a ritual sexual debut as he will be turning into a man, as long as he does not impregnate anyone. On the contrary, the young girls who experience teenage pregnancy get shunned and shamed by the same members of society. Some are even forced to marry those who impregnated them. Their voices become silent without oering them a chance to change, reform and work towards their future with a renewed focus. Their mistakes are amplified more than the initiatives to empower them to emerge as transformed young ladies, who others can look up to and see hope. Worse still, it can be noted that both young boys and girls are at an equal disadvantage, as they are not taught their rights regarding sexual reproductive health. Instead, members of society just acknowledge that most adolescents engage in early sexual debut and just keep silent. Both boys and girls are not taught their rights, as well as how to identify if someone is touching them inappropriately. According to I Phase Centre Facebook live video dated November 16th 2017: It has been revealed that a child can be groomed in an online chat within 8 minutes or less and girls are more likely to be groomed than boys. So being silent destroys a lot of destinies.
With increasing challenges faced by the girl child such as gender-based violence, high HIV prevalence between young women aged 10 and 24 years old, with the possibility of acquiring the virus twice as compared to young male child their age and lack of access to education, it becomes dicult to address such challenges due to an entrenched culture of silence. What becomes more dicult and heart breaking is that even during the 21st century young girls are socialized into growing with the mentality that they are inferior to boys, as well as being encouraged to keep quiet when they experience rape. It is saddening to see how many destinies continue to be ruined at the adolescent stage where rape and abuse are normalized with some families trading their children for food while keeping silent and protecting the perpetrator.
In some instances parents silence their girl child’s voice by deciding for them which career path to follow without enquiring from their child what she wants to do. Also, girls are socialized into growing with the attitude that even when they are not successful they can get married to a rich man, and that is silencing the voice of a girl child. Since a girl child is socialized to become part of a society there’s need to break the silence for equal future from the grassroots by engaging all members of society. For instance Covid-19 exposed a lot of weak linkages in mot families, as well as other societal issues aecting women and girls, but this has not dealt with. According to UNFPA Botswana: In Botswana, just a week into Covid-19 lockdown the women’s shelters in the country were overwhelmed with numbers of survivors in need of safe space. “Botswana has long been facing a gender based violence crisis with 1 in 3 women having experienced abuse I n their lifetime, according to the 2018 national relationship study. The world population review 2019 places Botswana as the second country on rape cases at 92.9% per 100,000 citizens.” Anna Mokgheti, FPA Botswana Sadly, a lot of cases are reported without promoting behavior change for the members of society. In order for the voice of girls to be heard there is need for community engagement, as well as to promote a conducive environment for young girls. There is also need to address the challenges of the girl child without stigmatization and discrimination, especially considering that recently most young adolescents are exposed to early sexual debut, which is often perpetuated by rape. The International Day of the Girl child is celebrated annually with the aims of promoting the empowerment of girls and fulfillment of their human rights, as well as highlighting the challenges that girls face all over the world. Considering that the International Day of the Girl child is an annual event, it is not just enough to celebrate the day without having a track record of what impact has been done on the lives of the young girls in a form of a monitoring and evaluation tool. Also, there is need to engage all stakeholders from the grassroots level to help stop gender inequality, make outreaches at kgotla meetings, to give hope to young girls living in both rural and urban areas, as well as promoting digital literacy and science clubs such as coding classes to give them a purpose for a promising future. With the new normal there is a great need for teaching digital literary as well as online safety for both boys and girls, and raising awareness against normalized behavior which promote gender based violence without neglecting the boy child. According to Roseline Matshome, dated 20th September 2018 Facebook post, “In the process of grooming the girl child to be independent woman, we left out a boy child, a grave mistake. The boy child must also be prepared to handle an independent woman. We have to go back to the drawing board, our grooming must be all inclusive for children of both genders to live in harmony”. It is high time that girls are empowered to become aware there is more to just being married, their voice matter, their dreams matter, and they are not defined by their mistakes. Also it is possible to change how a boy child has been groomed by promoting a gender equal culture.
By Wame Mhlanga
Justina Mutale Foundation
Research and Advocacy Team
Botswana
#MyVoice #Allaboutasafeandconduciveenvironment
World Summit on Women and Girls 2023 